…i wonder about people who base their lives off of the company of others…the entertainment, the distractions, the “good times”….

but when you’re all alone, with no one there to laugh with you, when you’re in the deepest of thoughts, dreams, hopes, aspirations, anger, sadness…sitting in a closed room, surrounded by white walls, no windows… just know, I’d be there staring at the walls with you…dreaming along your side. 

…it is in the midst of despair and loneliness, that one finds a true companion. 

I wonder why people choose to stop learning….a world without learning, without dreams, goals, and ambition, is not a world worth living in. 

One will never figure out what life is about. the key is to keep searching. to keep moving. looking. investigating. Life is a mystery because it is meant to make a detective out of you. 

marvel at the wonders around you. look at the world with the eyes of a child…

don’t satiate yourself with simple objects, ideas, and people. LEARN! Even if you’re not in school….LEARN. teach yourself! Learn 3 languages…meet new people….explore the natural world around you.

The world is of grand splendor…too much to lock yourself up in a windowless room. 

Don’t sell your body, soul, and mind short… 

…Yesterday afternoon, as I was about to enter my friend’s car…I hear a stern voice, “Excuse me!”…so I turn…and I see an elderly African American woman in her car, I swear she had the look of the devil…she reminded me of my middle school teachers back in Englewood, when they would get pissed off….I hadn’t seen that face in a loonnnggg time.

I say, “Yes?”.

“Come here, and close that door!”…

(At this point, I’m scared as hell, no idea what to expect…)

“Yes?”

“young man….come here. Now, why didn’t you open that door for her, you go over there, and open that door…and you wait for her to get in!” Now she turns to me, “never, ever get in or out of the car without him opening the door.”

I laugh, about to turn away, and she calls me over, (still with that stern face) and says, “listen to me, you better make him appreciate you, you’re a pretty girl…I’m serious.”

All I could do was smile…” thank you. Yes ma’am”.

…. it’s been a long time…since I felt that type of respect for someone, who I hardly knew…she just beamed pride…no one would dare disrespect her…

Her message was so full of meaning, probably more than she knew… they guy I was with, was just a friend…but her message stood strong and resonated through my body like a guitar strum….

“Make him appreciate you”  

…and this, I must.

“What does that even mean to you?”

…Dream beautiful and unusual, stay true to you, wake up like every-day’s new to you…

This quote is originally from a Kanye West song, called “Goodnight”…

What does it mean to me? Why get a tattoo of it?

Dream beautiful and unusual, represents me in three words…i live my life based on dreams and ideals i hope to one day fulfill…I am a dreamer and proud of it…unusual? my dreams are my own…they are large, small, intricate, thick, thin, hot and cold. they are true to me. I am not afraid to embrace all of me and all of who i want to be, all of who i can be, and all of who i will be.

i am an unusual person…so I’ve been told. i love the eccentricity that ties in my beautiful dreams to my unusual self.

Dream Beautiful & Unusual is a way of life i never hope to give up…it is a limitless, boundary-less life…it is eternal and everlasting.

Because I like the feeling of a blade piercing through human flesh and the “pop” it makes once it penetrates?…..Because the flow of blood out of an open wound is entrancing as it drip,drip,drips down one’s porous skin….as it swims through a labyrinth of hair, finally finding its way to the ground? and when you squeeze the wound, how the blood forms a perfect sphere of crimson…

The look of a human when it knows the end of its time has come…the pleading in its eyes, the fear, the sudden humility…

and so am I psycho because I see life how life is? Because we watch in awe as a lioness shreds apart her prey, yet cannot tolerate the thought of possibly inflicting that much pain on another human being?….because after all, it is a human being. A human being, who is good and well, and self-righteous…who knows no evil?…who’s always honest and joyful and hopeful…?

and I sit here, and contemplate all the ways it can be killed and let my imagination run wild, and maybe I hear their shrieks and maybe I feel their breath…and maybe I even feel their pain…

Am I psychotic because my thoughts run wild, a million miles per minute, and I dream unspeakable dreams that could possibly,maybe, come true one day?

PERHAPS.

I am no psycho…I have the potential to be….but then again, who doesnt?

I really can not stand change, and I hate good-bye’s…thus far, none of my good bye’s have really had a HUGE impact on my life (except that of my father’s), but other than that, I have been alright.

But life after good-bye’s is never the same….even if it is for the best of both parties…I hate Good-Bye’s with a passion…

“Put your trust in life”, but for someone with trust issues, even trusting life is not that easy…

“I’d love to let the wind take me away…but even then, my heels would still be deep in the dirt.”-Carolina Duque

So, I have spoken to a couple of my friends, and there has apparently been a recurring epidemic of men being “intimidated” by intelligent women…To me, this seems absolutely ABSURD, RIDICULOUS, LUDICROUS! What is more unfathomable, is the fact that some women, feel that they need to “dumb down” to be able to keep the attention of men…How do I address this issue?

I solemnly believe, that a man and woman should be as equal as possible…meaning, I hope he is at your intelligence and educational level, to say the least.

With that being said, the fact that a man, could ever be intimidated by a woman’s intelligence, means one of two things to me…

1. He is not up to your level.

2. He may very well be on your level or beyond…..BUTT(huge butt), he is somewhat insecure about his manhood. What I mean by manhood is, he may be used to the fact that he is always right, always making decisions, always “calling the shots”…but no, my lil-macho-man-friend, you need a super-woman to match your super-man.

In either case, I am so sorry, but sub-par just does not cut it. Get “on my level”, or go to a different building. (As for my-lil-macho-man-friend, the fact that he is insecure about a woman’s intelligence, says too much about his character.)

In the end, no woman…no person, should have to “dumb down” for anyone, regardless of the situation. Be proud of how far you have come, and embrace the intelligence God has given you.

There are so many places I’d like to visit, it is hard to choose. I guess, I’ll say it is between, Australia, Greece, and Africa to be in an actual safari!

Woke up today at 3:45 PM. «Good Morning to me!

Well, to my pleasant surprise, I woke up to see a world of light blue skies, waving trees with their leaves of yellow and green as the sunlight hit them, and a very familiar breeze of summer….

My summer was subpar, to say the least, yet today, seemed as if it were all beginning…as if it were the first day of summer, and a world of water activities and heat awaited me in my days ahead…..Unfortunately…..TUN TUN TUN…. only a weekend away from going back to school.

Well, not so unfortunate…I love the fall….the breeze, the fashion, and most importantly, the way nature reacts to this season.

…so, I wish I had a backyard….your own piece of nature…right there, to do as you please, it’s amazing.

I’d probably lay out there….probably without a book, a phone, a lap top.  Just to look up in the sky,  and make cloud creatures with the one thin string of cloud I see (since the sky is literally clear). I’d probably take in all the air I could, to capture this last summer breeze…as if it were my last…and I’d observe as the little birds fought over the bread crumbs I’d given them (because yes, I love feeding birds).

…But…I have a parking lot, and across the street, I see another tall brick building…

…One day.

I like to see the world through the eyes of a child…to keep dreams alive…to stick to the determination that runs through my blood.

I will attempt to jot down the deep spectrum of thoughts that run around in my head on this page…I am an odd person, so bear with me.